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Daily Marriage Commitments

what-did-you-expect

Paul Tripp wrote an incredibly challenging book called What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage. This book calls husbands and wives to consider what their expectation were walking into marriage. The majority of couples walk into marriage with unrealistic expectations, leaving them unprepared for the day-to-day realities of marriage.

What Did You Expect? presents six practical commitments, which include honestly facing sin, weakness, and failure; willingness to change; and embodying Christ's love, will equip couples to develop a thriving, grace-based marriage in all circumstances and seasons of their relationship.

But in the book Tripp gives a list of corrolary commitments that should shape and texture every element of the marriage relationship. Here's that list for you (it's the same one that was in the bulletin just a couple weeks ago):

  1. Be willing to lose sleep so an important conversation can be completed
  2. Listen and consider when you have communicated a concern
  3. Care about your spouse's true needs and gladly work to meet them
  4. Work to communicate with your spouse in a way that is patient and kind
  5. Look for concrete ways to support and encourage your spouse
  6. Do the daily work of forgiveness and reconciliation so that you and your spouse can live in peace
  7. Deal with your marital differences in a way that communicates appreciation and respect
  8. Make time to enjoy your physical intimacy and friendship
  9. Look for ways to help your spouse bear the burden of responsibilities that he or she carries
  10. Partner with your spouse in the daily work of maintaining your physical surroundings
  11. Never stop pursuing your spouse romantically
  12. Do not let the sun go down on a moment of hurt, misunderstanding, or anger
  13. Look for ways to encourage and develop your spiritual communion
  14. Daily commit to overlooking minor offenses
  15. Studiously avoid conflict over things that are unimportant
  16. Speak in a way that give your spouse grace
  17. Encourage and support your spouse in areas of interest that you do not share
  18. Be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to keep your marriage a priority
  19. Daily search for verbal and nonverbal ways to communicate your love
  20. Do not leave a conversation until you have reached unity and understanding
  21. never demand of your spouse what you are unwilling to give
  22. Continually remind your spouse that he or she is not alone in the marriage
  23. Do things you wouldn't normally do simply because they make your spouse happy
  24. Fight the busyness that would get in the way of giving your marriage attention
  25. Be willing to sacrifice personal activities and leisure for the sake of your marriage
  26. Work so your spouse has the downtime, rest, and retreat he needs
  27. Work to build relationships of love and respect with your family
  28. Do not stop working until your marriage is all God intended it to be